Having that "aroma" requires being like Christ, and the only way that we can become Christ-like is if we abide and dwell in God's presence-and doing that requires a conscious decision. “That may not be what comes to mind naturally, but it’s probably more effective.Indeed, Jesus had so changed their lives that an "aroma" of God was coming from them. “It’s counterintuitive for some people, but if you’re not having the best day, you should think about doing something nice for your significant other or your roommates instead of concentrating on yourself,” she says.
Still, they do suggest that focusing on making others happy may be a key to happiness worth considering. This is wise, as studies have found not all happiness practices translate to other cultures. This is a preliminary study, mostly done with a limited population, and Titova cautions against applying the finding to other cultural contexts. “It doesn’t require you know the person you’re trying to make happy, nor does it require an actual physical interaction with that person,” she says. Whatever the case, it appears that doing something kind for anyone is better for our happiness than getting something for ourselves. But it could also be that people like getting credit for a good deed, too-or that the note is actually another act of kindness, augmenting connection further. Titova thinks this makes sense, given that making someone else happier makes us happier through increasing our relatedness to them. Leaving a note increased a person’s happiness even more. Those who’d put money in someone else’s meter were significantly happier than those who’d put money in their own meter or just kept the quarters. In other cases, they were told to feed another person’s meter, with some being asked to leave a note on the dashboard of the stranger’s car explaining what they’d done.Īfterward, the researchers compared the four groups’ happiness and how much their needs felt fulfilled. In some cases, they were simply given the quarters to keep or were given the quarters to feed their own meter before filling out the surveys. People parked on a city street were approached by researchers and given two quarters for filling out surveys about their well-being. She and her colleague also looked at how this effect might play out between strangers. “We’re just not always accurate about assessing other people’s feelings.” “If we think another person is feeling pretty good, that’s enough for us to feel pretty good ourselves,” says Titova. However, if the participant perceived that their efforts made a difference in another’s happiness, that made them happier. The researchers found that a recipient’s happiness level did not seem to be related to the increased happiness of the person trying to make them happy, which suggests something beyond emotion contagion is going on. Then, they contacted the recipient and measured their actual happiness levels.
To do this, they repeated their experiment, but this time asked participants to identify the recipient of their kindness and to say how much happier that person appeared to be. In another part of the study, she and her colleague tried to rule out the possibility that making someone else happier makes you happier because of how emotions spread between people, which is known as the contagion effect. “When we aim to make others happier, we feel connected to them-our relatedness needs are better met-which is important for us.” “Making others happy is more meaningful for people than just socializing with them or doing something to improve our own happiness,” she says. This finding was not too surprising to lead researcher Milla Titova, who says that it fits in with prior research on happiness that found giving to others makes you happier than giving to yourself-and that pursuing happiness directly for yourself sometimes backfires. Those who’d done something to make another person feel better were much happier themselves than participants in the other groups, and their greater happiness was tied to a stronger feeling of connection to that person. Later that day, after doing their tasks, participants reported what they did, and then filled out their happiness and needs questionnaires again. From the GGSC to your bookshelf: 30 science-backed tools for well-being.
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